Why is it that the only time you feel like writing is when you’re hurting? In its own way, writing is a lot like prayer. It’s stuff in your head that you need to let out, that the universe needs to hear. Thoughts are things, right? Then why is it that the only things you ask of the universe are answers, answers, and even more answers? Sometimes, you’re not even asking the right questions. So, when was the last time you really, really talked to yourself–a meaningful conversation with every being you’ve ever been, ever life you’ve ever lived, and just enjoy your own company?
When was the last time you weren’t being selfish when you paid yourself a visit? Like visiting an old, rich uncle but only because you wanted tea and not because you needed to borrow money?
I’m not saying the answers are simple, really. What I’m saying is that its not always about the answers. Sometimes, you just really need to be with yourself and not be trapped in your head–to do something because it felt right and wholesome and not because you’ve prepared and planned for every possible outcome?
When was the last time you trusted yourself?
You have the urge to write, not to complain and bitch at how hard it is to find the right words to say to the right person, but to fill the world with words, honest meaning, to tell honest stories and sing honest songs.
Maybe those weren’t the promises you’ve made before–maybe that’s why you hurt, cos you’ve made and kept the wrong promises. Well, be the villain then–go break some promises.
Read what you’re written, read your life, and figure out where you went wrong. This isn’t about regret at all, though. This is about you looking back and being aware of what you’ve got here and now. Questions simply lead to more questions, but that’s all right. This time it’ll be you looking at old photo albums with your grandmother rather than paying for insight by the hour at your local shrink (by the pint, actually, cos you don’t have a shrink).
This is why this little journal exists, right?
Take a minute. Be with yourself. Keep your own company for a while. Enjoy it. No questions. No answers. Just get to know yourself better.